This
by the lola
Summary: 'They kiss and they kiss and all that he feels is complete - this boy is everything. He is a mess and a masterpiece all in one human. As pathetic as he knows it is, his chest swells with the thought that he could take /this/ for the rest of his life.'


**Word Count:** 708

 **Warnings:** Alcohol consumption, if that counts

 **Challenge/Competition:** The Dinner Table Challenge & School of Prompts challenge

 **Prompt/s:** Remus Lupin, a school trip, masterpiece

 **Disclaimer:** I don't claim to own Harry Potter, it's all JKR's.

* * *

 _Fuck,_ Remus thinks, staring at the sleeping boy across from him. He watches as Sirius' chest rises and falls in deep, sleepy breaths, faintly smelling of whisky.

It festers in the pit of his stomach - butterflies and ants and countless amounts of little creatures, all crawling about and heightening his awareness of what he already knows: he loves him. Merlin, the feeling rushes through his veins so forcefully he feels ready to split right open.

In a moment of madness he lurches across and grabs the bottle from the other boy's hand. He squints at it, considering. It seems to help Sirius. Pouring the amber liquid into the cap he knocks it back, left spluttering at the trail of fire blazing its way down his throat.

'Moony, what are you-' the other boy mumbles sleepily, pushing himself up to a seated position.

He goes quiet. What can he say? The truth feels like bile in his throat.

'How long was I out for?' Sirius chuckles, 'thought you were worried about getting kicked off the trip.'

And so he was, yet something about his feelings for the other boy seem to make everything else fly in the face of reason. 'Only about half an hour. I was bored,' he lies, 'just wanted to try it.' He swallows hard.

Sirius motions to the bottle, and Remus chucks it across to him, watching intently as he gulps it down as though it were water. The other boy cocks his head, looking like the remnants of drunkenness and the whisky currently flooding his bloodstream are taking effect. 'What's up?'

He draws in a sharp breath and quickly replies with a 'nothing' as Sirius stumbles his way across the room to sit next to him. He almost flinches at their proximity, unusually sensitive to it. The air buzzes with tension.

'Have some,' he says, offering Remus the bottle. When he shakes his head, Sirius continues. 'Don't be so uptight - we won't get caught. Loosen up,' he laughs, pouring the liquid into the cap for him.

Remus grabs the bottle instead, drinking three large swigs which cause his throat and eyes to burn - he desperately holds back the coughs threatening to explode from his mouth. He locks eyes with the other boy, knowing what is coming. _Fuck_.

Before he knows it, lips are on lips and hands running through hair - desperately grabbing at every piece of skin like they are never going to have another moment like this again, despite it being just another one of many. He sighs into the other boys mouth, whisky blurring the edges of his thoughts.

'Tell me what's wrong,' Sirius tries again.

He tries to avoid answering with another kiss. How can he answer that? _I love you so much and it consumes my every thought and movement and breath?_ Never. This is what it is - it's drunk and sloppy and all-consuming for an hour, then it's avoiding eye contact and awkward friendship. One night of one school trip is never going to change that. Nothing will.

'It doesn't matter,' he finally replies.

'It's you - of course it matters,' the other boy mumbles through a kiss.

And Remus laughs internally. 'You're drunk and it's late. Everything changes in the clarity of the morning.'

'Yet I love you anyway,' Sirius whispers, as though accidentally saying a thought out loud. Remus almost believes he created it in his mind.

Remus goes to reply, but is cut off by crushing lips on lips. _It doesn't matter_ , he tells himself - this will all be forgotten in the wake of hangovers and daylight. They kiss and they kiss and all that he feels is complete - this boy is everything. He is a mess and a masterpiece all in one human. As pathetic as he knows it is, his chest swells with the thought that he could take _this_ for the rest of his life.

They hear footsteps down the hallway, which stop outside their door. They go silent, as Sirius shoots across to his bed. Remus feigns sleep until he realises he needs it - his body is weak with tiredness.

'Goodnight,' Sirius whispers.

* * *

 **AN** : Ahhhhh I do love this pairing so so much. Hope this is enjoyed, do drop me a review with your thoughts! X


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